Tell a joke every day to have fun in the busy life

led2015

Tell a joke every day to have fun in the busy life [Copy link]

Student: Are there any sleeper berths available to XX?

Ticket seller: No more.

Student: What about the hard seats?

Ticket seller: No more either.

Student: Are there any standing tickets left?

Ticket seller: Yes, but we don’t sell student tickets.

Student: Why?

Ticket seller: XXX said that no student will be allowed to go home standing this year!

led2015

I remember an incident when I was in the sixth grade of elementary school. At that time, I was able to study well. I was the monitor of the class. One day, the teacher told me that I would help her check my classmates' homework. At first, I was very reluctant, but half a month later, I suddenly found one thing: no one checked my homework! Hehe! After another half a month, the teacher suddenly said that she wanted to check the homework. I stood outside the classroom all day that day!

philips_lu

led2015 Published on 2020-2-22 22:17 I remember an incident when I was in the sixth grade of elementary school. At that time, I was able to study well. I was the monitor of the class. One day, the teacher told me that I would help her check on my classmates...

It's so cold

philips_lu

Got scammed

led2015

A man couldn't find a girlfriend, so he had no choice but to go to a fortune teller.

Fortune teller: You are destined to have no women in the first half of your life.

The man's eyes lit up: What about the rest of your life?

The fortune teller said: You will get used to it in the second half of your life.

led2015

Customer: "Boss, give me a fish."

The boss quickly grabbed one and put it in the bag and weighed it.

Customer: "Pour the water out before weighing it. I'm buying fish, not water!"

Boss: "When you marry a wife, her family will have to give you a dowry!"

led2015

I rented a small room on the first floor.

I went to Taobao to buy clothes. After I made my selection and paid, I contacted the seller: “I have paid, please ship.”

But the guy said directly: "I saw your address, come upstairs and get it yourself! I'm upstairs from you."
Fuck you, I paid for the postage... and sent it down.

led2015

A man likes to wear his clothes backwards when riding a motorcycle, that is, he buttons his clothes at the back to block the wind.
One day, he drove drunk and flipped over, and fell headfirst on the side of the road.
When XX arrived...
A: What a serious car accident.
B: Yes, his head was hit on the back.
A: Yes, he is still breathing, let's help him turn his head back.
B: OK... one, two, turn it back.
A: Yes, he is not breathing...

led2015

led2015

I stood on the balcony of a house that cost more than 70,000 yuan per square meter, leaning on the handrail and smoking, wondering what life is all about, money? Or power? What if I have both? At this time, a beautiful woman with a charming temperament walked slowly towards me and said to me: Master, here is the fee for unclogging the toilet, 200 yuan...

led2015

One day I was driving a taxi with a passenger. The passenger was looking at his phone all the way. When we got to the station, the meter charged over 50 yuan. The guy took out 30 yuan and told me that he didn’t have enough money. Forget it. He asked me to give him another 20 yuan. I thought I couldn’t lose money, so I gave him 21 yuan. This time I didn’t lose money and I made an extra yuan! I immediately went anonymous because I was afraid that the guy would ask me for a yuan!

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I fell in love with a girl when I was in high school. Maybe because I was afraid of poverty, she was very materialistic. In order to give her the life she wanted, I worked very hard in high school. After the end of senior year, I was admitted to university, and she started her social career. During college, I saved every meal I could and worked as many jobs as possible, just to give her a few hundred yuan every time I saw her. Although it was not much, it was my love. Until now, I even know her ID information by heart. Comrade police officer, have I made myself clear enough?