In my fifth year of studying computer science at Peking University, I dropped out without a master's degree.

Edited by Wen Geng
Produced by Quantum Bit | Public Account QbitAI

In January 2015, a user asked a question on Zhihu:

Why do so many graduate students want to drop out now?

Four years later, this question started to appear on Zhihu's hot list every once in a while. So far, it has accumulated 1,420 answers. People continue to come in to tell their stories.

Because of the topic, most of the answers were about their own frustrations in their academic careers. Some were anonymous, some were real names. Many people mentioned depression, boredom, struggle, and stress.

The ID of one of the respondents is: Uncle Harry.

He was born in the 1990s. In September this year, he just dropped out of Peking University's computer graphics doctoral program in his fifth year, which meant that he could not even get a master's degree, but only a certificate of completion with a red seal.

After reading his story, many people felt regretful and unbelievable.

Comments are in this style:

Why did Uncle Harry drop out of school?

He wrote down the whole story in his own handwriting. QuantumBit is authorized to reprint it here.

Because the image content cannot be modified after it is published, although the author did not specifically request it, we still made some minor changes to protect privacy. The author's answer is here:

https://www.zhihu.com/question/27479057/answer/834579040

The following is the original answer:

I just graduated this month. I dropped out of my PhD in computer graphics in my fifth year and don’t have a master’s degree.

I started to doubt my life while studying for a doctorate, so I dropped out.

Before dropping out of school, I asked myself the following five questions. After thinking through and answering them all, I resolutely decided to drop out.

1. Why did you want to pursue a direct PhD in computer graphics?

In fact, I have always wanted to engage in research in game development. I found the backup of my personal statement for applying for a direct doctorate in 2013 (https://rpg.blue/home.php?mod=space&uid=57889&do=blog&id=11951), and I found that my goal has not changed.

△ Excerpt from personal statement (added by QuantumBit)

However, there are currently no good game design majors in China, so when I was recommended for graduate school, I chose a major in computer science that was closest to games: computer graphics.

At that time, I had no idea about the difference between a master's degree and a doctorate. My family thought that getting a doctorate in five years seemed more cost-effective than getting a master's degree in three years. In addition, I had been the top student in my grade and major at Central South University for four consecutive years in my undergraduate studies, so I felt a little proud.

Seniors advised me not to go straight to a PhD program, but I just didn’t believe it. I thought that as long as I worked hard, I would definitely be able to get a PhD. So among the three offers of a master’s degree from Zhejiang University, a master’s degree from Tsinghua University, and a doctorate from Peking University, I chose the most difficult one.

2. How did you get admitted to Peking University for a direct Ph.D.?

With a decent undergraduate transcript and good algorithm and programming skills, I successfully entered the Peking University Computer Research Institute. I am a student from Shandong, and I am least afraid of hard work. I have believed that God rewards hard work since I was a child. Studying and taking exams are my strengths, so during my postgraduate studies at Peking University, my grades were still second to none in the institute. I also won the Academic Excellence Award.

3. What have I done in the past few years of direct doctoral studies? Why is it not going well?

The first two years of my direct PhD program were mainly spent on classes and horizontal projects, and they went very smoothly. My grades and programming skills were both good, so I was very comfortable with it.

But starting from the second semester of my second year, I felt something was wrong. My supervisor did not demonstrate the scientific research qualities that a Peking University professor should have. Many times when I discussed topics with him, I felt that he had been out of the academic circle for a long time, but was becoming increasingly arrogant and overbearing and irritable towards students. During the five years at Peking University, all the seniors and juniors around me dared not speak out but were angry.

In addition, my mentor is a harvest-oriented teacher. During the five years at Peking University, my mentor showed me a little respect only when he needed me to do something horizontal. But whenever I encountered a problem, my mentor only said: You can figure it out yourself.

Apart from urging me to make progress and making very general and empty criticisms (for example, he would criticize me for my poor scientific research ability and low academic level. I would feel very aggrieved: if I could reach a very high academic level and publish papers at top conferences after graduating from undergraduate school, I would have gone directly to work at Microsoft Research Asia. Why would I come to you to study for a Ph.D.?), he could hardly give me any substantive guidance that could help me get things done.

When I submitted my paper, my supervisor asked me to submit it without even reading it. I felt that even the blind reviewer was more concerned and responsible for my paper than my supervisor. The premise of personal cultivation is to be guided by a master. But I have been doing my doctoral degree for five years and I don’t feel that I have made any progress in scientific research. I always feel that I am doing amateur science.

4. Is the difficulty in doctoral studies due to personal reasons or to non-personal and uncontrollable reasons?

My supervisor blamed the lack of results in our lab on the students not working hard. But I can see that the students who can pass the entrance exam or be admitted to Peking University are all very talented and hardworking.

Comparing with other people in the lab: When I was a first-year doctoral student, a senior student who had delayed graduation dropped out; when I was a second-year doctoral student, a senior student who was one year older than me had a disagreement with his supervisor when he started his thesis, so he changed his supervisor. (My supervisor said at the time that the topic he was working on was a "shithole", but he frequently presented papers at top conferences in his new lab, went abroad for an exchange for a year, and graduated successfully this year.) A senior student with a master's degree who had published enough papers and met the graduation requirements was bullied by her supervisor because of a bad relationship with her supervisor, resulting in her failing the defense even though she met the requirements. She returned to school for another defense a year later before she got her degree.

During my doctoral study, only one doctoral student in the same class graduated in his seventh year. We all witnessed the stigmatization and pressure of delayed graduation that this doctoral student endured from his supervisor. What made me even more sad was that even though this doctoral student worked so hard, his final graduation thesis was unreadable in my opinion. If he had received better scientific research guidance, he would not have written a thesis of this level. All these signs made me believe that my doctoral study was not smooth.

5. What is my future career plan? Will dropping out of school have an adverse impact on my future plans?

In the future, I still hope to make achievements in game design, but since I came to this laboratory, the topics assigned to me by my tutor are all in the areas of his interest.

On the other hand, as Wang Miaoyi said in "Why China won't have 3A games" (https://www.vgtime.com/forum/946714.jhtml), realistic rendering technology is already very mature in the field of games. Every time I read some papers in the top graphics conferences, I feel that everyone has nothing new to publish and is looking for some marginal show cases to make up the numbers. In this case, I think that even if I barely finish my doctorate, it will not be of much help to my future life planning, and I will only have the empty title of a doctorate.

To sum up, I am not a person who seeks fame and reputation. My mentor can waste time and time, but I can't. I am still young and I have many important things to do. So, I chose to drop out of school.

The above is Uncle Harry’s answer as to why he dropped out of school.

Everyone's situation is different. Some people have been exploring and moving forward on the academic path, while others eventually choose another direction. I hope everyone can think carefully and make a choice without regrets.

Finally, we wish Uncle Harry a smooth journey and hope he can finally realize his dream. We also wish all the teachers and students a happy holiday.